I hate waiting too long for anything. Who doesn’t? And I’m not one of these super humans who pray for patience and all that nonsense… Because trust me, God KNOWS how to test your patience. And that’s exactly what he did to me on July 16, 2020, when we were scheduled to go view my mom’s body at the funeral home. It was something I didn’t think would be happening for quite some time. 2020 literally knocked the wind out of us. The pain of her loss was nearly unbearable… Nearly, because I’m learning that when we give up, or stop wanting to move forward, God is carrying us along, recharging us, loving us and giving us peace. During the near hour wait, so many things came to mind. I asked God what he wanted me to see in this situation, Where was the lesson or message? (I know that may sound weird, but fellow over thinkers understand)
- The first thing that came to mind was that sometimes the wait keeps us focused. Some of us are extreme over thinkers and we nearly ‘what if’ ourselves to death within minutes. In this instance, I was super focused on one thing: why did my mom have to die? That was the only thing I could think of. I was hyper focused on how I would respond to seeing her in her final slumber; how I regretted not coming home in May for Mother’s Day or her birthday; how life would now be without her. FOCUSED. While we are waiting, we are sometimes consumed with the thing we’re waiting for. This could be good or bad. We’re in a constant battle to ‘capture our thoughts’ as mentioned in 2 Corinthians 10:5. We’re in charge of what we think, so we need to make sure we accept toxic thoughts and that we need a renewing of our minds.
- The wait will either create unnecessary anxiety or a patient heart. Experts agree that occasional anxiety is normal, a part of life. It becomes a disorder when the triggers began to interrupt your life. An over thinker could be in danger of an anxiety disorder as we tend to play out many scenarios in our heads, excessively worrying. Patience, on the other hand, is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. How to practice patience? First, know that Patience is a FRUIT of the Spirit. If you have received salvation, you have the fruit of the Spirit operating in you. The level in which they operate is based on your relationship with God and knowledge of and obedience to his word. Are you focused on the issues of life or the God of our salvation, who can manage anything that plagues us? Being rooted in HIM causes our level of patience to grow, because we know his track record.
Back to the story. As our immediate family and a few close cousins waited in the foyer, (masks on of course), the owner of the funeral home called my name and asked me to take the first look at mom. Even after almost an hour of waiting, I was NOT ready. I wanted to melt into the carpet, disappear, shrink back into the chair I was sitting in; ANYTHING but be the first to go in… BY MYSELF. Oh the joy of being the only girl. Immediately, my sister in love Marcia’s voice blanketed me.. “You will have peace during all of this”. I went in the parlor where mom was, expecting to fall out, completely melt down… But the peace of God that passes all understanding met me. I simply walked over, saw how great mom looked, inspecting every single thing, and motioned to the funeral home owner that all was well. And he brought everyone else in.
Pheww! I was relieved. I felt the anxiety and worry about this moment fade away. And guess what else I learned?
You’ll have to wait until next week.
I know, I’m wrong for that… But while you wait, think about some things that have caused you great anxiety. What are you doing to combat that? What is something you’ve been waiting on? Are you exercising patience?
“Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the LORD”
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