Recently, a friend of mine joked at a comment I made about a blemish on my face.. I said I wanted my skin to look perfect, we laughed and I was told “You’re so conceited”. Although the statement was made as a joke, it took me back to a time where I really WAS conceited.
While I was growing up, I was super spoiled, the only girl and the youngest. My dad placed me up on a pedestal and set me up to believe I was very important, a princess, black royalty; all things that a father should do; until you think you’re better than everyone else and come to expect that treatment from everyone, all the time. I got away with a lot, until my mom got fed up. 🙄 I played sides and did what I had to do to get my way. But when I was a teen mom, feeling disgraced, the sting of shame (See a previous blog (Black Sheep); When I was in college in an abusive relationship, or when I’ve gone through some of my hardest challenges as an adult in recent years, I used conceit as a blanket to disguise pain, grief and fear. I fronted as if all was well.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that the mask started coming off. I was tired of cycles in my life. As with any deep issue, the symptoms show before the root of the issue is exposed. I asked God to reveal some things about myself to me… It was not cute. But it helped me to face the things that kept me hiding behind masks of who I thought I had to be. I wanted people to think I had it together and that I was ok. I wanted people to think the very best of me, and looked for affirmation from others. I didn’t even consider that I was dealing with other broken people and that they could never affirm me. I presented myself well, but as we all know, all that glitters isn’t gold. Makeup only conceals the top layer of our skin. .
So how do you come back down from your pedestal? The bible says in Romans 12:16 ‘Be of the same mind one toward another. Set not your mind on high things, but condescend (to come down from, submit) to things that are lowly. Be not wise in your own conceits.’ ESV. Pride is a major issue for so many of us. We think we are able to deal with whatever we’re going through, because we are selfishly dealing with things on our own terms. But pride and conceit, makes you forget that you have a perfect God who can deal with any issue you face. You ultimately have to change the way you think. If we are admonished to not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds, It must be the key to every change that we need to make.
Trusting God, making him a priority and honoring him as number one in your life allows you to see things from His perspective. The Holy Spirit can open your eyes and help you get down from that high place.
Do you need to examine Pride in your life? Are you conceited?